February 18, 2008

North America Goes Dark

Rotation of the Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness

NEW YORK—Millions of eyewitnesses watched in stunned horror Tuesday as light emptied from the sky, plunging the U.S. and neighboring countries into darkness. As the hours progressed, conditions only worsened.

At approximately 4:20 p.m. EST, the sun began to lower from its position in the sky in a westward trajectory, eventually disappearing below the horizon.

One reason you have to love "The Onion" is because it does such a great job of mimicking the real press. Here are some real headlines:

50/50 chance Colorado dams will go dry within 13 years

2007 was the warmest year on record for land masses

Melting Ice Sheets will increase Volcanic activity

Since 1992 the TOPEX satellite program has provided measurements of sea level change. Notice above the green is the sea level falling, the red is the sea level rising. Who can describe for me how quickly global warming is swamping us. TOPEX averages the changes over three year periods.

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