Thems Fightin Words

Hoosiers: fat, smokin', time-confused gamblers

Not only is this state the third-largest gaming state in the nation (sliding in just under Nevada and New Jersey!), but people drive from neighboring states every day, by the hundreds, to buy discounted tobacco products by the truckload. And let’s not forget that just a couple of years ago we were given the “Most Stupid People Per Capita” award by some stupid writer at some stupid men’s magazine. He couldn’t even write to good. I think he was illegitimate.

At least we take care of our senior citizens. They are not sitting at home wasting away and waiting anxiously for their worthless grown children to visit.

I know this because at an Indiana casino last weekend, every senior in Indiana was there — in wheel-chairs, on walkers, puffing on oxygen tanks, pigging out at the all-night buffets and smoking cigarettes while pumping their worthless grown children’s inheritance into three or four slot machines at a time.